A Humorous Guide to Switzerland

Swiss Postautos - Sommaruga Fabio  / pixelio.de It's very common in Switzerland to take a bus to work. Since public transportation in Switzerland is quite convenient and punctual this is perfectly fine alternative to driving yourself to work. Of course, public transportation in Switzerland isn't cheap but putting gas into your car is definitely becoming expensive as well plus you get the traffic jams that are very hard to avoid and cost a lot of time and nerves. According to the Swiss Ministry of Statistics almost 30% of working people use public transportation to go to work .  So if you're part of that Swiss group, lets do the math: if you take the bus to and from work and work five days a week, we can safely assume that you ride a bus in Switzerland at least ten times a week . This was true for myself as well for many years as well but I have since completely switched to remote work. An interesting observation While riding the bus to work a few years ago, I observed...

"You're not from here, right?!" These were the words the saleslady of a small clothes store on a busy Tel Aviv street directed at me a few years ago. I was surprised she had spotted my foreignness so easily. After having lived in Israel for a few years and mastered the local Hebrew, I thought I was able to blend in quite well by then. So, I asked her how she knew. She replied with a smile and said: "You nicely folded the clothes you tried on before bringing them back out!" Oh that! Something I assumed was 'normal' but, apparently, the locals didn't do that. My Swiss background gave me away.  A Stereotypical (Swiss) Person As an expat I can usually spot fellow expats right away even if at first they seem to fit right in. Be they Swiss people I encounter abroad or foreigners living in Switzerland. Mostly, I catch a word or a phrase in a foreign language or see clothes or other items that are clearly not local. Here in South America it's very easy t...

Languages of Switzerland - Hape Bolliger  / pixelio.de A few weeks ago, I came across quite an ignorant statement in the comments of a blog I'm following. Someone in all earnest claimed that there was no country on earth with more than one official language. I was dumbfounded. Haven't they heard of Canada* with English and French as official languages? Or maybe Finland*, where Finnish and Swedish are both recognized as formal languages? And what about Switzerland with not two or three but four official languages ? I decided to leave a short comment pointing towards the facts. After all, here was I - together with more than 8 million other inhabitants of Switzerland - a living witness to the different languages spoken throughout Switzerland. Besides, a quick google search would have brought up plenty of websites dealing with the issue of multilingual countries. The Four Official Languages of Switzerland  Switzerland is a country that unites several regions that are...

Beautiful Switzerland Mercer recently published their 2016 Quality of Living Rankings . Not surprisingly, there are several Swiss cities that appear among the global Top 10 of cities with highest quality of living. I mean, who wouldn't want to live in this beautiful, clean and orderly country?! This year, Zurich wins the contest for highest ranked Swiss city before Geneva. Here is the full Top 10 Cities with highest quality of living: Vienna, Austria Zurich, Switzerland Auckland, New Zealand Munich, Germany Vancouver, Canada Dusseldorf, Germany Frankfurt, Germany Geneva, Switzerland Copenhagen, Denmark Sidney, Australia Another aspect of the Mercery survey covers personal safety for foreigners and their families. In a world full of disputes, safety is definitely an issue to ponder when deciding to move to a foreign country. In terms of personal safety, Switzerland ranks very high . There are three cities in the global Top 10 safest cities. Have a look at the ...

To be completely honest, I'm not very fond of hallmark holidays and Valentine's Day is probably the mothership of them all. In my home there will be no cheesy cards or flowers on that day and, personally, I'm happy about it. However, I know that there are many people who like to celebrate Valentine's Day and take it as an opportunity to show their love and appreciation to their loves. Even in Switzerland, there are plenty of people celebrating it nowadays. If you're short on ideas for this years Valentine's Day in Switzerland you might find some inspiration here: Valentine's Day in Switzerland . If you're already set and have the perfect date ready, how about surprising your loved one with a few romantic Swiss German phrases? You should know that the expression "I love you" has only recently made its way into Swiss German from the High German "Ich liebe dich". Swiss people used to simply say "I like you" or "I like ...

100000jobs.ch - You'll find your new job here!  In an older post I wrote about the job market in Switzerland and gave some recommendation on finding a job in Switzerland . In a way, the situation in the Swiss job market has changed and at the same time hasn't changed since then. Unemployment rates remain low The Swiss economy might not be in an all-time high but it is rolling steadily. This keeps unemployment rates relatively low which in turn allows a lot of employees to earn their living and to invest their earnings (i.e. consuming and buying) which again stimulates the economy. Capitalism at its best, right? Well, even in Switzerland there are people looking for a new job. Maybe they currently have a job they don't like, maybe they would like to advance their career and are looking for the next step on the career ladder, maybe they just lost their job and need to make a living or maybe they just recently graduated and are now ready to enter the job market. Peo...

baby -  Helene Souza  / pixelio.de Every couple of years the Federal Bureau of Statistics publishes a report on the most popular baby names in Switzerland. In  2008-2010 the winners in the German part of Switzerland were Lena and Noah followed by a variety of other short and quite international names. While Noah still leads the list of most popular baby names in the 2011-2013 report, Lena has been replaced by Mia . Also, there are a quite few "new" names in the top 8 of first names 2011-2013. The 8 most popular baby names in Switzerland 2011-2013: Girls: Mia (+1)* Alina (+2) Sara (+4) Laura (+1) Lea (+/-0) Sophia (new) Leonie (new) Emma (new) Boys: Noah (+/-0) Leon (+1) Luca (-1) Julian (new) Levin (+4) David (+/-0) Nico (-1) Gian (new) * in brackets the comparison to the 2008-2010 report The most popular names in French speaking Switzerland were Emma and Gabriel , Sofia and Gabriel in the Italian speaking part of Switzerland, ...

Switzerland is a very small country . Not as small as tiny Luxembourg or Liechtenstein but still very small. Especially, if you compare it's size to countries outside of Europe. In fact, Switzerland would fit over 200 times into Canada or the US.  Being small helps a lot to stay organized and clean - two characteristics that are very typical of Switzerland and its inhabitants . Signs that Switzerland is a Small Country Even in every day life, the small size of Switzerland is sometimes noticeable. I've found 5 signs that show that Switzerland is indeed a very small country. Postal codes are made of four ciphers only and go from 1000 in Geneva to the 9000s in St. Gallen. There is one system of postal codes for the whole country (and not one for each state or province!). Most other countries have ZIP codes of 5 or more ciphers. Driving from Germany to Italy (north to south) through Switzerland takes about 3 hours, driving from France to Austria (west to east) through Swit...

Airplane - H.D.Volz  / pixelio.de The summer months are approaching quickly and with them coming closer Swiss citizens are getting ready for their yearly summer vacation. Many Swiss families make use of the relatively long summer school break to visit a sunnier and warmer country like Italy, Greece or Spain. However, quite a few Swiss people actually prefer to stay at home during their vacation or to travel and hike somewhere in Switzerland . Swiss German Vocabulary for Travelers Whatever your preferences for this summer, I thought you might wanted to polish your travel vocabulary in Swiss German. This (non conclusive) list of travel terms in Swiss German which I like to call Swiss German Travel Dictionary will provide you with a good start into this venture. If you believe some words or expressions are missing let me know so I can add them! Enjoy! Swiss German Travel Dictionary aacho (to arrive) Aakunft (arrival) abflüge (to takeoff) Abflug (takeoff) Abreise (depar...

A few months ago I wrote about online clothes shopping in Switzerland . In my post I focussed on Zalando and Bonprix because they were most popular and the only online clothes shopping websites I had tried. Recently I tried another supplier for online shopping: La Redoute . My Experience My experience with La Redoute was fine. The selection is large and the navigation on the website itself alright. My positive experience might also be connected to the fact that there was no need for me to return any clothes. As it goes with online clothes shopping, the major issue is the return of clothes that don't fit or don't look as expected. According to La Redoute 's terms and conditions you can return any items that you didn't like and you won't be charged for them. Also, if you want to exchange clothes (change size or color) you won't have to pay for the re-sending of the clothes, which means you'll pay just once in the first place. However, you will hav...

Someone sent me a link to a really funny post about living in Switzerland a while ago. I was doing some organizing in my inbox today and stumbled upon it again. It's really very entertaining so I thought I'd share it with everyone. Maybe you'll recognize yourself or someone you know in this list. Matterhorn - Reto Fetz (swisscan) / pixelio.de  You know you've been living in Switzerland too long when... ...you think it's economically wasteful to have more than one brand of a product in a store.  ...you think spontaneity is OK, as long as it's planned.  ...you think getting up early is good.  ...you get upset in the train when a foreign tourist opens the window causing a draft to go down your back.  ...you actually get interested in the local elections.  ...you know the words to the Swiss national anthem.  ...you expect the shop clerk to say goodbye after you purchase something.  ...you wait for the shop clerk to open the door to le...

Family or Familie - Thommy Weiss  / pixelio.de It's the family season of the year for me. Birthday celebrations and other family gatherings somehow accumulate in the months of April and May. In Swiss German we often call family gatherings ' Familieschluuch ' which literally means 'family hose' and refers to an 'obligatory family gathering' or 'family gathering where your presence is expected'. Personally, I agree that it's nicer to sit outside in the afternoon with the family and enjoy the sun, a good steak and a cold beer than sitting cooped up in a living room and watch the rain fall outside. However, it might just as well be true that some people use their birthdays to show off their new barbecue equipment or garden furniture. I don't disapprove. Dictionary of Family Members in Swiss German Anyhow, I'm using the opportunity of this family season to share with you a short dictionary of family members in Swiss German. Most of...

I recently had a conversation with one of my friends from abroad about the popularity of my name. As it is, my name " Irene " seems to be a quite normal and fairly popular name in English speaking countries. Living in Switzerland, however, it always seemed to me a name more suitable for grandmothers than for someone my age. While growing up I even was so unhappy with my name that I  dreamed of having a more popular name like Daniela or Sabrina. The name 'Irene' Luckily, I wasn't able to change my first name then because I started to like my name when I began to travel the world. Not only has " Irene " a beautiful meaning (it means 'peaceful') but it's also a very international name. Most western languages have their own version of it: German: Irene English: Irene French: Irène Italian: Irene Spanish: Irene Russian: Irina Greek: Irini Portuguese: Irene Obviously, the pronunciations vary a bit more than the spelling suggests.  ...

Christmas Cookies -  Joujou  / pixelio.de Christmas is only a bit more than a month away and advent season is about to start. Soon streets in every town will be lit up with Christmas lights and filled Christmas songs. High time to brush up your Swiss German language skills for the Christmas season with this short glossary of Christmas terms. Swiss German Words for the Christmas Season Advent (advent, the season before Christmas) Adventschranz (advent wreath, usually with 4 candles) Adventskalender (Christmas calendar) Adventsmärt (advent market) Ängel (angels) Cherze (candle) Cherzezieh (making candles, candle dipping) Chrischtbaum (Christmas tree) Chrischtchindli (Christ child) Chrippe (manger) Erdnüssli (peanut, typical gift from Santa) Fitze ( Santa's stick that he uses to hit bad behaving children) Grittibänz (bread roll in the shape of a man) Gschänkli (gift, gifts) Guetzli (cookie, cookies) Hirte (shepherds) Liechterchetti (chain ...

There are many different reasons people decide to move to a foreign country. I am not talking about refugees of any kind, since they usually do not have a choice to leave their homes. I am talking about people who are actually living quite comfortably but then decide to pack up their things and move to another corner of the world. Some move for ideological reasons, some for love, some for adventure, some simply for a change in their daily routine, and some - obviously - move for a job . Actually, I believe that there is a large percentage of American and European expats whose relocation is job related. I do not have a statistic on that though. When considering a move abroad one should definitely take the local job market and salary situation into account. This is where Switzerland is at its best: very low unemployment rate (under 5%) and high salaries . In Europe only Denmark features higher average annual salaries than Switzerland. Europe's Highest Salaries (2015) Switz...

Bloomberg has recently published a list of worlds healthiest countries . And guess who made it almost to the top of the list? Exactly! Switzerland was chosen the 4th healthiest country in the world! This doesn't surprise me since Switzerland is well known for it's populations healthy eating habits . Who beat Switzerland in healthy living? On top of my head I would have thought that the Scandinavian countries like Sweden or Norway would be right at the top of the list. Great health systems and a modern lifestyle should do its trick, right?! However, none of them are found ahead of Switzerland. Sweden is placed 6th and Norway 9th - still very good though. The top three healthiest countries of the world are definitely not what you'd think they'd be. Maybe with the exception of Iceland as #3 healthiest country. But I don't think anybody would have guessed Italy to be the second healthiest country of the world. I mean, how healthy can pasta and pizza be? Maybe the r...

Young Swiss Hornusser There is probably no sport more typically Swiss than Schwingen , the Swiss style of wrestling in sawdust . However, another traditional Swiss sport is worth a mention and that is Hornussen . Swiss Golf called Hornussen Hornussen is not only the name of a Swiss village but also of this interesting sport that looks a bit like a Swiss version of baseball or cricket . It is almost exclusively played in Switzerland with a few German cities joining the fun. Surprisingly there are also some South Africans who are playing and they actually call the game "Swiss Golf" . How is Hornussen played? The game of Hornussen is quite simple: The hitter hits the " Nouss " (the ball) in order to make it fly into the opponents playing field or even farther. For this purpose the Nouss is placed on a piece of wood and hit with a long flexible stick that resembles a fishing rod. The opposing team then tries to catch the Nouss with pieces of clapboard (that l...

If I ask people to give me an example of a typical Swiss name, most would probably name Heidi. Made famous through the stories of the little girl living in the Swiss alps, the name has turned into something uniquely Swiss. Although I learned that people outside of Switzerland sometimes name their children Heidi as well. However, most Swiss consider Heidi a very old and unmodern name that belongs to our grandparents generation. Ueli, Walter, Rösli, Annemarie - all these names are slowly disappearing from Swiss phonebooks and index of names. Some are undoubtedly beautiful but simply won't do anymore. I mean, who is calling their children Eugene or Earnest these days?! You might ask, are there any original Swiss names still popular with parents? How about all the beautiful names from Grisons like Flurin, Zegna or Gian? They definitely are still in use but others seem more popular. These are the baby names that were most popular in Switzerland in 2008-2010 : Most Popular Gi...