Someone sent me a link to a really funny post about living in Switzerland a while ago. I was doing some organizing in my inbox today and stumbled upon it again. It's really very entertaining so I thought I'd share it with everyone. Maybe you'll recognize yourself or someone you know in this list.
Important Note: I did not make this list. I found it on a forum and slightly adapted it.
Original Source: www.airliners.net
© 2013 IRENE WYRSCH "A HUMOROUS GUIDE TO SWITZERLAND" ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Matterhorn - Reto Fetz (swisscan) / pixelio.de |
You know you've been living in Switzerland too long when...
- ...you think it's economically wasteful to have more than one brand of a product in a store.
- ...you think spontaneity is OK, as long as it's planned.
- ...you think getting up early is good.
- ...you get upset in the train when a foreign tourist opens the window causing a draft to go down your back.
- ...you actually get interested in the local elections.
- ...you know the words to the Swiss national anthem.
- ...you expect the shop clerk to say goodbye after you purchase something.
- ...you wait for the shop clerk to open the door to let you out of their shop.
- ...you prefer to buy in small shops even though its more expensive.
- ...you think joining clubs is an acceptable way of meeting people socially.
- ...you start studying for a Nachdiplom.
- ...you get annoyed when the car ahead of you doesn't turn off it's motor at a traffic light.
- ...you look forward to Wildsaison.
- ...you're prepared to pay for a local dentist.
- ...you're not upset when a public holiday falls on a Sunday.
- ...you try to defend cartel based economics to a visitor.
- ...you think that plaid jackets with flowery ties don't look that bad.
- ...you think it's fair that you can only wash clothes once a month.
- ...you wonder why anyone would want to shop outside of working hours.
- ...you buy Swiss.
- ...you get concerned about all the foreigners moving into the country.
- ...you don't mind spending all day in the restaurant at a ski resort, and wonder why all the foreigners insist on skiing when the conditions are less than optimal.
- ...you know the difference between Cafe Traesch, and Cafe Lutz, and get upset when others don't know.
- ...you become suspicious of people who think independently.
- ...you decide on a vacation in the US, planning to buy a car and drive around for six months.
- ...you can comment on the quality of english schools in southern England and California.
- ...you consider taking a vacation to Florida, but then don't go, because it's too dangerous.
- ...you think it's OK to drive slow on Sundays.
- ...you pull out in front of another car, to reserve your place.
- ...you reserve your table first, before getting food in a cafeteria.
- ...you don't worry about your jacket being stolen in a restaurant.
- ...you feel like you're broke if you have less that CHF 300 in your pocket.
- ...you get upset when someone pays with a credit card, instead of paying cash.
- ...you dress up to go grocery shopping.
- ...you wear white socks with black shoes.
- ...you feel embarrassed when your squash racket grip doesn't match your socks.
- ...you wish the Swiss government would do something about their refugee policy.
- ...you don't get upset about US politics, because after all they're American.
- ...you hope Switzerland doesn't join the European community.
- ...you consider food with garlic in it to be spicy.
- ...you understand why Chinese food should cost more than normal food.
- ...you get embarrassed when a visitor asks for a doggie bag in a restaurant.
- ...you prefer Swiss wine.
- ...you are willing to pay higher prices, because it ensures higher quality.
- ...you wish that your town had expensive garbage bags too.
- ...you consider target shooting a 'sport'.
- ...you assume that all blacks are foreigners.
- ...you assume that all asians are refugees.
- ...you start judging restaurants and hotels, giving criticism when your expectations are not met.
- ...you think it's OK for a Chinese restaurant to be run by a Swiss and staffed by Spaniards and Portugese.
- ...you start referring to the French speaking Swiss as Welsh.
- ...you start thinking, 'Why can't they just speak Schwiizerdütsch?'
- ...you don't mind waiting in restaurants.
- ...your German is better than the waiter's.
- ...you insist on speaking German to people that are obviously English speakers.
- ...you take a foreign language course, in German.
- ...you have trouble finding English words.
- ...you stop going out on Monday and Tuesday nights, because you have to work the next day, but always go out on Thursday nights.
- ...you don't think it's funny when someone confuses Switzerland with Sweden.
- ...you get upset when someone thinks Switzerland's forth language is English.
- ...you know the difference between a Landessprache and an Amtsprache.
- ...you stop liking peanut butter.
- ...you start capitalizing Nouns, and joining Bigwords together.
- ...you think that Generalversammulung is an important event.
- ...you start preparing costumes for Fasnacht.
- ...you join a Guggemusik band.
- ...you think Thursday night shopping is really convenient.
- ...you buy Swiss eye glasses.
- ...you entertain in restaurants.
- ...you decline an invitation because you have to clean your apartment.
- ...you think it's normal for a family with kids to live in an apartment.
- ...you don't take part in a sporting activity, because you're not dressed for it.
- ...you consider it normal to make reservations to see a movie.
- ...you are glad of the pause during a movie, so that you can smoke a cigarette and buy an ice cream.
- ...you think that large American cars are 'cool'.
- ...you think it's cool to drink expensive imported American beers.
- ...you prefer fizzy mineral water to tap water.
- ...you expect a slice of lemon in your coke.
- ...you worry that you don't have the right sort of glasses for the drinks you are going to serve.
- ...you throw a party and expect everyone to leave by 11:30 pm.
- ...you clean up during parties.
- ...you expect dinner guests to help with the washing up.
- ...you think that air conditioning makes people sick.
- ...you begin to understand the subtlety of the Swiss cuisine.
- ...you appreciate the differences between the cantons.
- ...you don't get mad, you just answer 'Bon appetite' when someone asks you what's English for 'En guete'.
- ...you don't mind drinking Panache.
- ...you feel really hungry if you don't start eating lunch by 12:00.
- ...you start disliking fast-food.
- ...you prefer plain chocolate to candy bars.
- ...you have breakfast cereal for dinner.
- ...you consider it healthy to eat lots of milk products and lean red meat.
- ...you say Grüezi to everyone, and consider it impolite when they don't say it back.
- ...you don't mind paying $12 for a paperback book.
- ...you buy a new one instead of getting it repaired.
- ...you realize the subversive implications of doing something 'just for fun'.
- ...you think that 3% unemployment is high.
- ...you think it was through their own efforts that Switzerland stayed out of world war two.
- ...you think that milk and butter prices should be regulated.
- ...you worry about the economic hardships that Swiss farmers face.
- ...you consider getting goats and sheep to graze in your backyard.
- ...you think that wood is 'heimelig'.
- ...you start to think in kilometers.
- ...you think that a pound is 500 grams and not 16 ounces.
- ...you don't feel embarrassed when you order something non-alcoholic in a bar.
- ...you only eat cheese fondue in winter.
- ...you complain to your neighbor about the noise when he flushes his toilet after 10 pm.
- ...you become interested in the myriad of insurance offerings.
- ...you call the police when you see someone washing their car on a Sunday.
- ...you start complaining about the breakdown of traditional Swiss values.
- ...you think that Sunday should be a day of rest.
- ...you take part in Jass tournaments.
- ...you get interested in Schwingen.
- ...you volunteer to help organize the Dorffest.
- ...you buy a new TV because the old one doesn't match the new furniture.
- ...you expect to be delayed by road works.
- ...you aren't surprised when a perfectly good road is torn up and repaved.
- ...you buy a new ski suit every year.
- ...you feel comforted by public safety announcements.
- ...you prefer hamburgers without the bun, and eat them with a knife and fork.
- ...you think that only foreigners use catsup.
- ...you expect bacon to have bits of bone in it.
- ...you wonder why anyone would want such a big refrigerator.
- ...you become concerned about the color of your neighbor's curtains.
- ...you put 'Aromat' on all your food.
- ...you start judging the quality of the whipped cream.
- ...you think that Switzerland's conservation efforts make a difference.
- ...you think it's OK to wear red Levis.
- ...you refuse to leave messages on answering machines because it's too impersonal.
- ...you start complaining about the difficulty of finding really good Bauernschnapps.
- ...you expect beer prices to go up after midnight.
- ...you worry about getting a cold when there's a draft.
- ...you refuse to tell someone your salary.
- ...you think that hard work is responsible for the stability of the Swiss franc.
- ...you get insulted when reading this.
Important Note: I did not make this list. I found it on a forum and slightly adapted it.
Original Source: www.airliners.net
© 2013 IRENE WYRSCH "A HUMOROUS GUIDE TO SWITZERLAND" ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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